Lost Somewhere In Maryland

It’s been over two months since we returned from China, and I am only just getting around to scheduling visits and returning calls to the many friends and family we haven’t touched base with yet.  We’d been taking it slow, staying close to home, getting down the new “ day to day” routine and occasionally taking on a little adventure.  Focusing our energy on Liam and Emmett and on most days not having much left over.  When more than one person mentioned wondering when they would see our faces on the side of a milk cartoon, I knew it was time to get my act together!

So, what’s new here on Osborne Ave?  In a word, lots!  Mostly the mundane, but with the addition of Liam into our lives those annual celebrations, favorite haunts, and daily activities and chores have taken on a newness.  We’ve spent a fair amount of our time trekking around the neighborhood familiarizing Liam with Emmett’s favorite places: playgrounds.  There’s Hillcrest and St Mark School to either side of our house and the grand daddy of them all The Tire Park.  A playground entirely constructed of recycled tires. 

We’ve celebrated a holiday and some birthdays.  We’ve introduced Liam to both the good and the bad.  The good, Easter egg hunts and yummy birthday cakes and the  bad, the idea that the birthday present is meant for the birthday boy alone.

He is also becoming familiar with the joys and the drudgery of residing in our house.  It’s got lots of great nooks and crannies in which to hide, stairs to hop and slide down, a porch to tricycle on in the rain and a big yard to explore.  The hedges that surround the perimeter offer endless hiding spots for boys, bunnies and birds.  Is there a downside, yes!  1899 is not only significant because it was the year our house was built, but also because any given weekend means there are at least 1899 chores that should be done!  While Liam and Emmett often don’t participate, after all we know child labor is frowned upon!  They do occasionally stop playing and lend us a hand.  Emmett is very good at lifting, pushing and moving things and Liam is a helpful assistant gardener. 

While our recent reclusiveness has been called into question, I am happy to report we have ventured away from the homestead with some frequency.  Some adventures are nearby like hikes in Patapsco Park, Maryland’s first state park, which makes up part of our town.   And probably more interesting, a beautiful Saturday May morning spent in Baltimore’s Mt. Vernon Square neighborhood for Flowermart.  Flowermart is a 100 year old festival that takes place in downtown Baltimore each spring.  It is a time to celebrate spring, listen to music, check out some art and of course pick up some plants for your garden.  I came away with some funky heirloom tomato plants I had been hunting for.  Women are known to wear outrageous spring hats and crab cakes are served up along with the Flowermart signature peppermint stick in a lemon.  We broke out the toddler backpack for the first time and Liam thoroughly enjoyed surveying the crowd high atop Jerry’s shoulders.  He also loves his sun glasses, and I must say looked particularly cool with them on.

That’s all for now.  Looking forward to seeing you soon, or in Baltimorese, “looking forward to seeing yoose all soon, Hon”!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Well it was almost two months ago that we boarded a bus in Guangzhou in the wee hours of the morning on our way to Liam’s new life in America.  That bus ride was the beginning of a long journey, which ended some 30 hours later in Baltimore, Maryland.  At each new airport we bid farewell to another family as they continued on in a different direction to their home.  It was an exhausting trip for us not to mention Liam, but all and all he did wonderfully. 

In some ways those plane rides weren’t the end of our journey but the beginning.  Once home, we all had adjustments to make.  Parents caring for two children where their had been one, a little boy reuniting with his Mom and Dad and learning to be a big brother, and another little boy learning what it’s like to have a family for the first time. 

We’ve had good days and bad, and lessons learned through smiles and tears.  Each day things get a little closer to normal.  We are really all learning how to navigate our new family.

Liam continues to blossom and adjust to life with us.  He has done so well that at times it easy to forget how new this world is for him.   His Velcro grip on me is slowly subsiding.   It is still a challenge to leave a room without hearing a British sounding “mummy, mummy” within seconds, followed by the pitter-patter of little feet hot on my trail. 

But with each new day we see a bit more independence.  He is now playing like a more typical child his age.  When he first arrived his games might be balancing a variety of objects on any flat surface he could carry around with the dexterity of the best restaurant server you’ve ever seen or following me around as I did household tasks.  Believe it or not, he’s actually ok at dusting!  Those games are fewer and further between and he has moved on to cars, puzzles and other activities favored by the two year old set.

The boy, who not so long ago, wanted nothing more than to be carried around is now actively asking to go outside to play.  He loves his swing set and sandbox.  Watching Liam and Emmett create a variety of games, their favorite being “bumpy ball” has been a joy to behold.  That being said, their relationship does have it’s ups and downs and it is not unusual to hear the refrain “no Emmett no” when a game begins to head South.

This journey we’ve been on has been amazing, exhausting, exhilarating and a labor of true love.  As I mentioned before, coming home was only the beginning, but with each passing day we are a little wiser, stronger, somewhat better rested and more confident in parenting this special little boy.  These few months have been filled with many “firsts” for all the members of our family, most notably Liam.  We are slowly moving past the joys, the unknowns and anxieties that come along with those first experiences.  Some that are typical to all families with a new child in their home, others specific to adopting a child at the ripe old age of two.  The fact that I actually have the time to sit here and blog after a post China hiatus and communication black out is a testament to how far we’ve come!

So what else can I tell you about the Liam of today in this long overdue blog post?  He has a smile that can melt your heart and a belly laugh that can be heard throughout the house.  He is often content to be held and will bear hug you and wrap his little legs around you monkey style with amazing strength considering how tiny he still is.  He has quite an appetite and is slowly adjusting to foods with unfamiliar tastes.  He will tell you he loves pizza, but still refuses to eat it.  After all he is a Chinese boy at heart!  His language skills are nothing short of amazing.  He was initially a wonderful mimic, but will now speak to you spontaneously with often crystal clear pronunciation.  He is a rabid Curious George fan following in his big brothers footsteps and loves to jump and tumble.   While he wears his big smile much of the time, he does have an incredibly stubborn streak and is known as a bit of drama queen in these parts.  He will tell you of seemingly invisible injuries and demand they be kissed for entire afternoons.  He is smart, funny, and full of little surprises.  If you haven’t had the pleasure of making his acquaintance I really look forward to introducing you soon.

Coming back to Charm City

Wrapping Things Up


We’ve spent the last two days preparing for our departure. Everyone is anxious to head home. Aside from just being away too long, a number of us have battled stomach bugs and sinus infections during this last week. Today, there is packing to be done, last minute souviners to pick up and photos to snap. Along with the excitement about heading home, there is a sense of nostalgia for our time spent in China with our new friends.

We met yesterday for our final organized group activity at The White Swan Hotel, our “Red Couch Photo”. The red couch is a rite of passage for internationally adopted children, a way to memoralize and celebrate the important connection these kids share. Dressed in traditional Chinese attire, the kids are photographed together on the couch. Ours may not have been the most picture perfect red couch photo, since many of the kids including Liam wouldn’t stay on the couch, but it may be the cutest.

We’re packed and spent most of today strolling Shaiman Island and taking in the sites and sounds of this area one last time. We started out in The People’s Park on the Pearl River. As I mentioned before the Chinese gather in public spaces to hang out with friends, exercise, dance, and play games. On our walk we see more games of hacky sack than you can count. In China hacky sack is game played by all ages. There are lots of other folks ballroom dancing but to Chinese sounding music. Some are quite good and seem pleased we are photographing them. Additionally there are the typical groups of singers, mahjong enthusiasts, tai chi practitioners and variations of what looks like tai chi done with swords and badminton rackets.

As I mentioned before Shaiman Island, is like a little oasis, full of British Colonial architecture, tropical foliage, shady narrow streets and parks. Perhaps I should say it was an oasis before it began undergoing major construction. The Pan Asian Games will be held here in November and in what I imagine was 2008 Olympic style, the government has decided to give the city a complete and total facelift. In a quest for perfection they are resurfacing or refacing every street, sidewalk, and building, whether they need it or not. This wouldn’t be particularly noteworthy, except unlike us, safety obsessed litigious Americans, the Chinese do things a bit differently. Instead of ripping up a street and say leaving a sidewalk for pedestrians, they do the whole thing at once. Where we would close off the street and create a detour, the Chinese pedestrians walk right through the construction zone. Backhoes zip inches from your head, unknown objects fall from the bamboo scaffolding above. Chinese women in heels walk gingerly through minefields of ankle snapping holes. In their favor, their methods seem rather efficient. Unlike certain US highways, which seem to perennially be under construction, the Chinese actually seem to get stuff done.

Anyway, after the park, we make our way through the construction and cross the bridge to Guangzhou City. We walk through Qing Ping Market which covers a number of city blocks and is one of China’s largest and most famous markets. This is the China you might imagine. Stall after stall of dried everything including herbs, meats, fish and live animals. The highlight is probably the baskets of live scorpions that are being picked up with chopsticks, deposited into plastic bags and taken home by patrons for dinner. We also decide to stop in the pet section of the market for Liam. Today we made the unfortunate discovery that he is afraid of dogs. Yikes! All through the trip he loved saying, “hello doggie”, so who knew? Well today at Starbucks, yeah I said Starbucks, a cute itty-bitty dog stopped by to say hi and he lost it. So back at the Pet Market, we stop and look at the puppies. He won’t touch them, but he doesn’t cry and seems interested when we play with them. Baby steps!

We are headed out tonight for a final dinner of traditional Cantonese food, which promises to be interesting.

We leave tomorrow morning at 5:00 AM. Liam is still under the weather so, keep us in your thoughts and prayers for a safe and uneventful trip home.

Hi, it's me again. Liam, on my way to Catonsville.

Up the down or down the up or ...

Restoring Our Harmonious Yin & Yang


So yesterday things were looking pretty bad. Liam was VISA-less and would be stuck in China unless we could get his US immigration VISA approval to the US Consulate here b difficult, especially once you know that they share the same computer system in real time, not to mention they both work for the same boss, Uncle Sam. However if you take in to consideration that we’ve been through this twice before unsuccessfully and that they again both work for Uncle Sam, you’ll understand why we were less than optimistic. To compound our worries, Liam’s bronchitis was not getting any better.

During our last appointment the hotel doctor pointed menacingly at her arm, which our translator explained meant, if he did not get better by tomorrow we would need an IV at the hospital. Here in China, “the drip” seems to be the preferred course of treatment for a wide variety of ailments. Our uncertainty about the proposed treatment and the disturbing description of the hospital by our Chinese translator made us decide a visit to the western doctor was in order. We’d have to forgo the next day’s trip to the zoo, which in retrospect was good for Liam’s health in more ways than one. Apparently the bars on the animal enclosures at the Guangzhou Zoo are unusually wide and one of the little boys in our group was quite skilled at slipping inside them. It was reported that there were more than a few tense moments, but everyone returned safe and sound.

We scheduled our appointment and then waited, and waited and waited to go head to head with our friends in immigration. Due to the time difference our call-a-thon could not begin until 9:00 PM. And a call-a-thon it was. We spoke to various representatives, their supervisors and their supervisor’s supervisors. What made this all the more ludicrous is that everyone agrees he is approved and has been for months but they refuse to deliver the information to the consulate in any way other than the electronic system that does not work. We suggest phone, e-mail, or even a call to the Consulate rep to help him properly use the system. No one is sure if they can do any of the above and will call us back. It’s 2:00 AM and we move to plan B, calling our Senator, Ben Cardin’s office. This call proves to be equally frustrating, but by the end Cardin’s aid agrees to send an e-mail on our behalf to the Consulate and Immigration. At 4:00 AM we get the call we’ve been waiting for. Immigration will send the approval via e-mail. We sleep for a few hours and then call to confirm. Yes, the Consulate has it!

Our spirits buoyed but exhausted, we head off to the Western doctor, who if I didn’t explain, is Chinese but was trained in the US. Again things look like they are turning around. He has us throw away the meds Liam was taking and gives us antibiotics we’ve actually heard off. Things are still written in Chinese, but instead of zip lock baggies and powders wrapped in little pieces of wax paper, our new meds come bearing the Novartis logo. Who knew it could be so comforting?

The rest of the day is big. We take a bus to the US Consulate and take our oath. We promise to be good parents etc. Typically this would be worth writing about but we are dead on our feet after today’s marathon. All we can think about is bed and that we’ll be on our way home in two short days.

Pearls of ...

Seawater and Freshwater Pearls of Wisdom


China really is the land of contradictions. The juxtaposition of old and new is again fully visible her in Guangzhou. We sit on tiny Shaiman Island, which feels as though you’ve been transported back in time to a colonial outpost of yesteryear, but look out our hotel window across the canal to Guangzhou City and you are confronted with skyscrapers so brilliantly lit in neon, they rival Las Vegas casinos. Another skyscraper in full view of our window, doubles as a giant TV screen at night playing what looks to be Olympic footage, on it’s 20 plus stories.

On Monday we ventured across the canal to the Pearl Market in downtown Guangzhou. The Pearl Market is really a misnomer; it’s actually a six-story mall full of wholesale jewelers, but best known for pearls. It sits in what looks like a mini Times Square, full of shops, billboards and tons of activity. There are also lots of open-air stalls selling Chinese fast food, which as far as I can tell is anything they can cram on a stick. As you may have guessed counterfeit products of all kinds is a problem throughout China. This makes Jerry’s unsuccessful quest for knock off sunglasses seem all the more odd, unless of course you take a moment to reflect on the last time we saw sun during this trip. The answer is never!

Our guide is able to point us in the direction of a few Pearl dealers with good reputations, meaning other families from our agency have been buying from them without issue. The shop is filled with bags upon bags of pearls. We receive a lesson on the differences between fresh and saltwater pearls and also coloring. We’ve been told that the pearls run about a third off what they are in the US and then we go to work, along with another family of intrepid shoppers, and bargain.

With the exception of department stores and the Walmart, you have to bargain almost everywhere in China. I have to admit there is a sense of accomplishment involved, but it is a bit exhausting. Our pearl bargaining dance consists of a repeated explanation of what the word wholesale means, lots of headshaking and unconvincing attempts at walking away and even the formation of a cooperative with the other family. Finally we hit our magic number and pearls in hand we head home to rest and psych ourselves up for the next trip to the store.

Into each life some ...

When It Rains It Pours Here On Shaiman Island


After only about a day of enjoying the summery temperatures and afro-inducing humidity I mentioned earlier, it seems that the weather along with our luck has taken a turn for the worse.

Liam’s daily nebulizer treatments and medication have not seemed to improve his bronchitis and the doctor wants to try some additional medication. Aside from the typical concerns any parent has over a sick child, Jerry and I are experiencing a few new ones. First our doctor is the Hotel doctor. We’re not exactly sure what to make of this? What are her credentials? And if you are a doctor, why the hell are you working in a hotel? To be fair we know nothing about doctors who choose to make their living in the hospitality industry. The more we thought about it, the only point of reference we could come up with was Doc from The Love Boat and he wasn’t a very convincing doctor and an even less convincing lady’s man. You’re probably wondering why all the silliness, just ask what her credentials are? Well, we did, and even translated into English we have no idea what any of it means. Getting serious we decide she is our best option and likely a perfectly good one. After all the White Swan is the hotel that 90% of adoptive families stay at before returning to the US. We are assured she has treated thousands of children and many with much more serious illnesses. Our goal for now needs to be getting him healthy enough for travel back to the US on Saturday and if need be, direct to our pediatrician.

Our second new area of concern is trying to decipher what these Chinese drugs are all about? In addition to what he has been taking orally, our translator tells us that the doctor wishes to give him antibiotic injections twice a day. When we question the type of antibiotic they will use, she shows us the box. It is nothing we are familiar with and their attempts to compare it to other drugs we might know fail miserably. We also start throwing around names of random antibiotics that we do know, but to no avail. After several more rounds of “name that antibiotic” we take a new approach and come away with a reasonable understanding of why this is necessary.

They also decide on another medication to add to the regimen and we have no objections. However our sense of nervousness returns when the nurse whips out her pestle and mortar adds a little of this and a dash of that and then delivers us a zip lock of very neatly folded wax paper packets of powder. Yes, we are very far from home!

All jokes aside, while Liam’s bronchitis sounds terrible, his appetite and activity level are great, so we are hopeful with a little TLC and good care he will shake this off quickly.

Our other bit of bad news came in the form of some critical paperwork that is MIA. We’ve had an ongoing challenge with getting a document called a VISA 37 to its final destination here to the US Consulate in Guangzhou. This document is required for Liam to be issued his VISA and leave the country. According to US immigration, the issuer, the document has been sent here twice. We knew this already, as we had to beg them to resend it before we left. As of yesterday our agency could not get confirmation of receipt and asked us to call the consulate. We did and received the bad news that they still don’t have it. All is not lost as we have three more days to get this situation fixed. A Consulate employee named Roy says he’s on it and has put in an emergency request to US Immigration. When we followed up today, Roy said he still didn’t have it and when we asked what we should do, he said “keep your fingers crossed”. Not exactly confidence building. Our translator has suggested a call to our Congressperson, which we will do as soon as things open for business tomorrow in the US. The thought of extending our stay here with our neighbors the peacocks, the monkey and the ostrich is freaking me out to put it mildly.
 

Families

We Are In This Together


There have been many wonderful experiences on this trip, but one of my favorites has been the opportunity to really get to know our travel group. We started out in Beijing as jet lagged strangers and have become fast friends. We began as a group of five families in Beijing from across the United States: two from Colorado, one from Wisconsin, one from Atlanta and us. Each with a unique story and set of experiences that has led them to their child in China.

In our group we have two first time parents. One of these couples has endured the excruciating loss of a Vietnamese baby following a VISA filing mix up. Before finding their son in China, they had fought an unsuccessful yearlong battle for this little girl. Another family is returning to China with their lovely daughter for their second adoption trip, six years after their first. We also have a family traveling with their three young children and grandparents, who felt called to adopt a one year old with a serious yet repairable heart condition. Open-heart surgery available in the US will give this little guy a life he would not have had in China.

They say traveling together is the true test of friendship and if so, we’ve passed with flying colors. Jerry and I are amazed that in this group of very different people we have been lucky enough to be paired with families that are kind, funny and adventurous. We’ve all had our ups and downs, be it yearning for home, sick, scared and sleepless babies, or just trying to learn how to navigate life in China, but having the support of these other families has made things so much easier.

We’ve known each other such a short time but I can’t imagine not having shared this experience with them. Crying tears of happiness as we watched our friends meet their children for the first time is an experience I would not trade for the world. We’ve been able to watch these kids blossom, experiencing the care and love only a mom and dad can give, for the first time.

Although we couldn’t be more anxious to get home, I will be sorry to say goodbye and hopeful that our promises of future reunions will come to pass.